Let’s face it many times when we need to talk about difficult issues, that’s where we get it wrong and things go well not so good. So our next third key to better communication in your marriage is very relevant. It takes the first 2 keys of caring and praise/affirmation to be able to share difficult truths in a gentle, kind, inoffensive manner. From a practical standpoint, we know those difficult things are best heard when our defences are not up. In a loving, non-threatening environment, hard truths are more readily received.
3. TRUTH
We need to speak the truth to each other. Now, we need to be careful about how we do it.
The bible says in Proverbs 3:3 (AMPC),
“Let not mercy and kindness [shutting out all hatred and selfishness], and truth [shutting out all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood] forsake you; bind them about your neck, write them upon the tablet of your heart.”
Also, Ephesians 4:15 (AMPC) says,
[Tweet “Mercy without truth is a cheerleader without a team. Truth without compassion is surgery without anaesthesia. Truth without mercy is mean, and mercy without truth is meaningless.”]“Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).”
Mercy without truth is a cheerleader without a team. Truth without compassion is surgery without anaesthesia. Truth without mercy is mean, and mercy without truth is meaningless. Truth and mercy are like Siamese twins they go together one with the other, and we need them both. When we’re talking, we need to be kind one to another, and at the same time, we need to speak the truth. You must learn to give each other the right to speak the truth in love, creating an atmosphere of truth in your family or household. One of the most common traits of all dysfunctional family is either they have no communication, they’re silent, or they don’t talk about the truth. There’s an elephant, big massive white elephant, standing in the middle of the room and nobody will dare talk even mention about it. You will be faced with the giants if you ever talk that have only one intention to cut your head off. I have personally seen this happening, and it’s ugly, horrid.
You must learn to give each other the right to speak the truth in love, creating an atmosphere of truth in your family.
That’s what a dysfunctional family is like. On the other hand, a functional family responds in truth with love, mercy and caution. A functional family will talk openly about feelings, talk about the real underlining issues in a relationship, but will do it in a loving, respectful way.
So creating this atmosphere of truth talking, non-judgmental, gives your spouse the right, to tell the truth, and you say to the truth. Be careful how you do it, but have a truthful relationship; that’s where intimacy comes in.
